How to Be a Good Roommate
Open communication, respect, and shared responsibility can go a long way in creating a positive living environment.
It always starts the same way: You walk into your dorm with a cart full of bedding, clothes, desk supplies, maybe a plant or two, ready to make your new space your own. But what lies ahead is a new chapter in adulthood—a new person to share your space with and a new set of challenges that come with close living.
For many college students, moving in with a roommate is their first real test of independence and cooperation. Whether you’re a first-year student or eager for a fresh start, we’re tackling the age-old question: how to be a good roommate.
Start with the residence guide
At the 鶹, (HRE) goes beyond providing a place to live. Its mission is to foster inclusive communities with a strong focus on supporting students throughout their residential experience.
“We’ve made a lot of intentional changes to our department. We’re focusing a lot of our energy on community development,” says Detric Robinson, director of Residential Education.
HRE has developed a to provide students with essential information and resources. This guide covers everything from living on campus, housing assignments, cleanliness expectations, guest policies, and more.
“All students should read the guide. It’s dense, but it has a table of contents, so students can easily click through the document,” Robinson says. “If there are specific things they’re looking for, it’s there.”
Set expectations early
Within the first few weeks of moving in, roommates are required to complete a roommate agreement— a tool designed to help you discuss expectations for your shared space. Be upfront about your needs and be willing to compromise if they differ from your roommate's. Establishing honest communication early on is essential. Little details—like how often guests can come over, what the expectation is when they’re there, how long can they stay—can cause stress if you don’t talk about them in the beginning.
“People don’t know what you don’t tell them. We have a habit of thinking that people can read our minds,” Robinson says. “It’s things like, ‘If we’re having conflict, how would you like me to approach it?’ How you might approach conflict may be different than how someone likes to receive it.”
Senior Anna Filippova grew up sharing a room with her brother, but she says living with a college roommate is a completely different experience. Roommates often come from different backgrounds and have different habits, so adjusting takes time.
That’s why the roommate agreement is so helpful. It gives you a way to talk about things like cleaning, guests, and responsibilities right away.
“I think a good roommate is someone who communicates well,” Filippova says. “Sometimes, you have to have difficult conversations. I think a good roommate is willing to hear someone out.”
Tips for success
As you navigate life with roommates, here are some tips from HRE to help you succeed.
Talk early about routines. Share details like your class or work schedule, preferred quiet hours, and how you feel about overnight guests.
Set expectations around chores. Decide together how you’ll handle cleaning shared spaces, taking out the trash, or buying common household items.
Respect personal space. Even in small rooms, boundaries matter—always ask before borrowing things and be mindful of noise.
Revisit agreements as needed. Circumstances can change throughout the year. Checking in periodically can prevent small frustrations from building up.
Assume good intentions. Most roommate challenges come from miscommunication, not malice. Giving each other the benefit of the doubt can keep the relationship positive.
Establish community
Students in the residence halls are paired with resident mentors, students who live in the same building and are trained to help their peers navigate the ups and downs of residence life. Typically, there’s one resident mentor for every 30 to 40 students, providing guidance, support, and a friendly face around the hall.
Resident mentors play an active role in building community. They host programs and events throughout the year, giving students a chance to connect with one another, build friendships, and feel more at home on campus.
“Go to the floor events. It’s a good way to get out and make some new friends,” Filippova says. “I really like that about DU. All the resident mentors have established connections with their residents. It does make a difference.”
Each hall also has a hall council. This elected group of students advocates for the needs of their peers and helps organize initiatives that enhance hall life. Together, resident mentors and hall councils create a supportive network designed to make residence life a positive and enriching experience.
Give yourself time and stay positive
Transitioning to college is an adjustment. Filippova reminds first-year students that getting used to living away from home, campus life, classes, schedules, and living with a roommate takes time.
“You’re not the only one going through this—especially if you’re a first-year student. They’re navigating this experience as well. Talk to your roommate. They are probably feeling the same thing.”
Robinson adds that mindset matters as much as communication, and approaching the process of finding your community with a positive attitude can make all the difference.
“The first thing is to push past the discomfort. We’re so used to internalizing this fear that it’s not going to work out, without thinking, what if it does work out? Coming into it from that spirit of optimism, openness, and opportunity is extremely helpful,” Robinson says.